Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
