lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
