You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I want a musical about memes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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