Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
