i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
