Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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