Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
