i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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