I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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