Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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