You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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