wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
