your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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