You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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