All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
