saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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