Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
