Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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