he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
