i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
