R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
