Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
