I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
