Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
