turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
