I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
