when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
