he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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