What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
