Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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