you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
