i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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