C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
