It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
