Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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