I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
