My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
