You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
