I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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