That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
