i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
