It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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