the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm too high and old for this...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
