OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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