While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
