the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
