he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
