Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
