You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
