the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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