Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sorry about my life...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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