She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
jump out the window naked night went bad
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