I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
