Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
