alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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