Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
