First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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