It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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