***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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