It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
