Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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