I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
