I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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