i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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