im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
