he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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